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April 2006
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blogs:

$650 apartment for $650
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ada limon
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almost i rushed from home
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amy king's blog
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annandale dream gazette
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asthma chronicles
attention without a me
a tonalist notes
a view from the potholes
a walk around the lake
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black and white
the blind chatelaine's keys
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bread and jam for frances
the brother swimming beneath me
the burning chair
caconrad
commutiny
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catherine daly's blog
chaxblog
chicago postmodern poetry
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clay matthews

collin kelley
conchology
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dagzine
dbqp: visualizing poetics
delirious hem
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the dishwasher's tears
DIY poetics
DIY publishing
do gummi bears dream
dumbfoundry
effing blog
elective annoyance
elephant seals negate
elsewhere
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e-x-c-h-a-n-g-e-v-a-l-u-e-s
eyeball hatred 
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here comes everybody
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hg poetics
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humanophone
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hyacinth losers
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luna
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mappemunde
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micawberesque
mindful ramblings
minimalist concrete poetry
minor american
modern americans
mr. tong bliss' journal
narcissusworks
the neglectorino project
nervous unto thirst
never mind the beasts

thenewermetaphysicals
nice guy syndrome
nomadics
nothing to say and saying it
now then
odalisqued
omnidawn blog
paul hoover's poetry blog
the pangrammaticon
pantaloons
peek thru the pines
phactory
philly sound
poetry hut
poesy galore
poets' corner
poet with a day job
pseudopodium
pshares blog
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qbdp: the mailartworks
radish king
reader of depressing books
reli[e]able signs
reginald shepherd's blog
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rocket kids
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samizdat blog
sandra alland's blog-like entity
sandra simonds swims and swims
say something wonderful
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serif of nottingham
shanna compton's blog
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slicker chumway's
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stamped & metered flying fish
st*rnosedmole
the steinach operation
stephen vincent
swoonrocket
texfiles in bahrain
they shoot poets don't they
third factory
this is all your fault
this morning in poetry
tom raworth's notes
transsubmutation
twenty thousand thousand
ululations
understory
the unquiet grave
unreliable narrator
venepoetics
virgin formica
voices in utter dark
voix off
the well-nourished moon
what an errand knave
wild horses of fire
wind meals
wood s lot
the word cage
wordstrumpet
yes, starlings! yes!

you are here
ysleta poeta
zach barocas
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journals/small press/reviews:

1913
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above/ground press
absent magazine
action yes
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alice blue
apocryphaltext
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bird dog
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black lodge press
black ocean press
bookslut
the brooklyn rail
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carve
chax press
circumference
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coldfront magazine
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the constant critic
cue
the cultural society
cutbank
cy gist press
cy press
diagram
dusie
effing press
eoagh
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faux press e chapbooks
fewer & further press
flim forum press
free verse
galatea resurrects
g o n g press
gutcult
half empty/half full
the hat
hot whiskey press
handsome
h_ngm_n
hooke press
horse less press
house press
how2/barbara guest memory bank
jacket
katalanche press
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konundrum engine literary review
la petite zine
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lit
little red leaves
milk
mipoesias
new pages
no
no tell motel
octopus
octopusbooks

omg press
omnidawn
onedit
the page
phylum press

poetry 365
the poker
portable press at yo-yo labs
rain taxi
realpoetik
rhino
rhubarb is susan
rose metal press
rust buckle
saltgrass
seconds
shampoo
skanky possum
sleepingfish
slope
sona books
spell
tool a magazine
three candles
transmission press
typo
ugly duckling presse
vanitas
wintered press
wire sandwich
womb
word for/word
xantippe
zafusy

selby's list


audio/radio/video:

AudibleWord.Org
The Continental Review
Frequency 
Kelly Writers House webcasts
Laurable
LINEbreak

miPOradio
miPOradio POdcast
Naropa archives
PENNsound
Rabbit Light Movies
to the sound
UbuWeb
a voice box

every other day


14 APRIL 06

I want to say that all that seems like fantastic mistakes are not mistakes and all that seems like error is not error; and it all has to be done. That which seems like a false step is just the next step.

You may as well give up judging your actions. If it is the unconditioned life that you want, you do not know what you should do or what you should have done...

Say to yourselves: I am going to work in order see myself and free myself. While working and in the work I must be on the alert to see myself. When I see myself in the work I will know that this is the work I am supposed to do.

(Agnes Martin, Writings)

 

12 APRIL 06

A cone of depression.

I could move it from side to side with my thoughts, but I couldn’t get it in my hands. This was becoming a tendency.

Where is the complete lack of fear in my house,

in my body,
now?

*


10 APRIL 06
The only novel I've been able to read from start to finish in the past few years is That They May Face The Rising Sun, which came to me from Ireland as a gift, in every sense. (In the States, it has been given different cover art and the alternate title By the Lake.)

         

The author, John McGahern, is famous but was unfamiliar to me. He died recently, and though I haven't yet read any of his other books, I felt a little like I'd lost a friend. Part of the reason: he knew something about me, something that no one else knows.

 

8 APRIL 06

Week 8, 14 sentences:

"Would you come down and show me where the shadow is?" (Just that fast, the light had shifted.)

"I like a book that makes me wonder about books." "I like the dog in Hades."

At the end of a year, it returns to itself. It happened when I was asleep.

To be held at gunpoint [commentary]. It's a cloud [see wordy].

Roadblock is two sides. It's worse than that, it's something else: small-minded.

Very "future," with black. Afterwards, a reception.

That’s not Ave Maria! So there's no sense in decorating.

:

Week 9, 14 sentences:

Some of these things can be explained. Will this remind me of the walk on the pier? Rain tomorrow. Will she know it did help me to talk it all over, even though I seemed uncheered?

Black with roots, to the bottom of the glass. She is "the chair." Forgot to mention the first thing that happened was a little dog bit her on the leg! The next question involves floating itself. Or list, in order of importance: as the barrel of a mortar, the increasing distance to the moon, a book of numbers, watch that car.

As to what is keeping me so busy, well, while the strength and skill of great ice skaters is obvious, it's easy to overlook the remarkable surface that makes it all possible. Freezing a rink correctly takes no less than a dozen stages.

The brain is a town, and a strong idea will go from house to house, ringing every doorbell, shaking every hand, not leaving until the job is done. But there's that house where the people peer out through the blinds, won't come to the door, won't open up. The brain refuses to be completely convinced--ever--some stubborn part always saying: I might disagree with this, with myself, with every other voter in the town of my brain.

 

6 APRIL 06

Courtesy of Planet Waves, my horoscope: "The past few months have given you a tour of your insecurities, which is a subject that most people would rather sweep under the rug. In any case, the time has come to go boldly where you have never gone before, and that is to see yourself as a fully acceptable member of society. In truth there is no such thing; it's an idea that exists strictly in the imagination of the person who succeeds. But that idea goes a long way in the world."


My new passport arrived in the mail today.

that train through the Alps

PS: To you who asked, the other night at the reading, it is now visible here in Kulture Vulture's Experiment Four.

 

4 APRIL 06

 
Two end tables, one lamp, clock. Metaphor: suggested that the Trojan horse represents an earthquake. Between wars. Could have weakened Troy's walls, left them open. Talking thumbnail. We received so much excellent work that, you know, we didn’t need yours.

 

2 APRIL 06
For the move from Oregon to New Jersey, we needed a new credit card. Something blank. One bank was offering a free camera so I applied for that card, thinking a small, lightweight camera could come in handy on the trip.

By this time, I’d been living with a photographer for over 8 years and was rarely taking pictures myself. But the camera that came was such a little piece of junk, such a toy, that I took to it and entered into another phase of looking around through a lens.

Recently I found out that the description "toy camera" is a term in use not only at our house but everywhere, and that some of the reasons I liked the toy camera are reasons other people like them too. (Heard it on the radio.)

"...how it makes a kind of awkward 'poing' sound when you press its button, as if it kind of breaks itself to function." There’s even a magazine called Light Leaks. And, as you can see from these examples, the light leak ("like an accent in speech") is a feature.

The toy camera can't be focused or have its aperture adjusted, cheerfully thwarting any urge to get fussy. "Focus Free" it says right on the body.

"Scenes from an imaginary journey."

The thing is, although the camera is cheap (or free, in this case), the development & printing is expensive. Living in a one-room apartment behind a gas station, painting in a former pigpen (literally) on a farm in the next town over, I had no space to make a darkroom. And so, after shooting maybe 10 or 15 rolls of film, I slowed to a stop. I didn't think of a digital camera--we didn't even own a computer.

. . . .

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